How To Stop Trying To Prove Yourself To Others

How To Stop Trying To Prove Yourself To Others
Photo by Sean Stratton on Unsplash

It feels good to be praised and appreciated by other people.

However, when you derive your worth from seeking outside approval instead of accepting your true self, you end up being insecure and miserable.

Continually trying to prove your worth and relying too much on other people's approval prevents you from being truly happy with yourself.

The amount of time and energy you spend comparing yourself to others and looking for approval could be spent on pursuing goals that actually add value to your life.

If you struggle with the constant desire to prove yourself to others and want to rely less on external validation, here are 5 tips to help you stop seeking approval.

1. Reassess the motives behind your goals.

Be clear about your reasons for pursuing the goals that you have. Do you want to achieve them only because you want to prove yourself to others? Or have you set your goals by keeping your personal development in mind?

If you are pursuing a goal to impress others, you're essentially letting other people control your happiness. So you'll be happy only when "they" decide that you are worthy.

Pursuing goals just to impress others will only bring you temporary satisfaction. When you try to please everyone, you end up losing yourself and ignoring what you actually want.

However, when you go after goals that make you happy and help you become a better version of yourself, you will be more content and satisfied with your life.

2. Ask yourself, "then what?"

Okay, so you want people to acknowledge that you are worthy. Imagine it has already happened.

Then what?

Will you always keep chasing after people in an attempt to prove yourself to them and feel worthy?

When you derive your self-worth from seeking others' approval, you'll always keep looking for more people to impress.

Always seeking approval from others prevents you from enjoying the journey. Instead of living a fulfilling life, you see everything as a competition and miss out on valuable experiences.

People don't really care as much as you think. Everyone has their own issues to deal with. 
Don't waste your time trying to please everyone, focus on the important things. 

3. Accept that you can't control other people's opinions.

Even if you try your best to prove yourself to everyone, can you guarantee that they will still not judge you negatively?

You don't need to prove anyone anything.

Everybody goes through different experiences and has different viewpoints. Only you know what's right for you. You can't let other people decide what you should be doing with your life.

Simply focus on doing what's best for you, and everything else will fall into place.

You don't need anyone to tell you that you are worthy.

You can do that yourself.

4. Celebrate your achievements.

If you keep looking for external validation, you won't be able to appreciate your strengths and celebrate your achievements.

As a result, you will always compare yourself to others, and feel inadequate no matter what you do.

Instead of waiting for other people to validate you, acknowledge the hard work you have put in toward achieving your goals. Be proud of how far you have come.

5. Believe in yourself.

You can't expect anyone else to believe in you if you don't believe in yourself. 

When you are not confident in yourself, you will always look outside for validation. You'll constantly want someone to tell you that you are worthy. 

On the other hand, when you are confident in yourself and have faith in your abilities, you won't be dependent on others to feel good about yourself.

When you don't have faith in your abilities, you assume that people also believe that you are unworthy. So you put all your focus on proving them wrong. 

But when you really believe in yourself, you won't care about what other people think of you.

What are your thoughts on this? What else can a person do to stop seeking outside approval?

Share your ideas with me in the comment section below. 

And, if you found this post helpful, don't forget to share it.


  1. I'm so glad you enjoyed this post! Thank you so much for stopping by:)

  2. I do struggle with this, and I care too much about what other people think! I love the advice in number 2! Setting myself up for real mind change! I've been taking a break from blogging, but I think I'm ready to jump back in...Hope you are doing well!!

    1. Hey Rebecca, I'm fine. I hope everything is also going well for you. Glad the post helped you! Look forward to your new posts :)

  3. Thanks. This is helpful....all of it !

    1. I'm so glad you liked the post! Thanks for stopping by:)


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