The Misunderstood Introvert: When People Consider you Rude Because you Talk Less.

when people consider you rude because you talk less
Photo by Kristina Flour on Unsplash

Cold, Ignorant, Indifferent, Rude...
As an introvert, I have been referred by these terms quite a few times. I have been misunderstood and my body language has been wrongly interpreted by others.

I’m sure many of you also must have faced similar situations at some point in your life. Our reticent nature is often mistaken for rudeness and sluggishness.

Introverts are often misunderstood.

In group interactions, people expect them to speak up and reciprocate more because other people have talked about something. And when they don't talk as much, they labeled as antisocial or rude. 

They simply enjoy doing things by themselves more than engaging with others. 

People need to understand that when they are quiet, they are just probably thinking about what to say or they are simply observing others. 
Also, in various social occasions, introverts do not mingle as well with strangers as extroverts. Some people take their time to get to know others and get comfortable with them. 

There’s nothing wrong with that. Let them be.
Introversion is a personality trait like extroversion. Introverts are not depressed or have severe anxiety issues. They are normal, happy and pleasant people. Introversion doesn’t prevent them from being a productive individual.

Most introverts are naturally quiet. Introverts are well spoken as well, but they just don’t always have the desire to communicate and engage with others as often as the extroverts. They just aren’t comfortable with interacting with every other person they meet. 

Introverts gel well with selected folks; with whom they are most comfortable with. They are much more open and lively when they are with them. 

They shouldn’t be pressurized to become someone they’re not. Pushing them to their limits will not help them. Instead, their orientation to life should be respected.

Yes, introverts talk less than others, they are quiet individuals, but that doesn’t make them any less than others. Sometimes they simply don’t know what to say or they are trying not to say anything inappropriate. But some people might end up thinking that they are purposely ignoring them or they don’t want to acknowledge their presence. Silence is often considered snobbish. 

When people don’t get the desired reaction in return, they tend to interpret it in a negative way. And it seems worse when you don’t give any sort of reaction at all, people might feel insulted. It’s human nature. Nobody wants to be ignored.

And thus, unknowingly quiet individuals come off as rude. 

Although it’s not possible to change everybody’s perceptions in a day, you can take the first step and try to be more welcoming. 

Smile more, nod affirmatively and try to make eye contact. Little body gestures will add up and make up for fewer words. Try to have an open body language which will make you appear more approachable and positive rather than rude or snooty. 

You don’t have to completely change yourself and be all loud and pretend to be someone you’re not. You’re only trying to establish a friendly and warm atmosphere around you when you are with other people.

Everybody has certain shortcomings. Even extroverts have to deal with some common misconceptions, e.g., people might consider them loud, attention seeking, inconsiderate, bossy and so on.
We all have to deal with such stuff. It’s important that we don’t let them come in between our life goals and happiness.

It’s a messy world. But we can still manage to find our way through it. 


  1. Introvert. I guess sometimes i'm like that too. I talk really less. Sometimes I'm just a smile a little when i don't like the person talking to me or i dont like the topics. So I guess there's nothing really wrong with that. They have to deal with us :)

    1. Absolutely! There's nothing wrong with being quiet every now and then. Thank you for visiting Janera. :)

  2. Great post!! I am definitely an introvert so I can relate to a lot of what you said. Thanks for sharing your thoughts, it was a great read!

    ~ Nicole

    1. I'm glad you liked it. Thank you so much for visiting.:)


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